If something isn't allowed, it's not allowed. Not only that, but when it comes to rules you need to… Each family will have slightly different rules, but they should be clearly stated and known to everyone. No should mean no, and there should be house and family rules for kind, safe behavior. At each checkup with your pediatrician, talk about what to expect next in your child's development. Not that you have to ignore or condone these behaviors (well, you might have to just deal with a baby crying, that's not misbehaving), but it's important to understand the stage your child is going through as you discipline. Babies are going to cry, toddlers are going to get into things they shouldn't, school-age kids sometimes lie to avoid trouble, and teenagers - well, they do all sorts of things as they assert their independence. Teach the rules ahead of time, rather than waiting for your child to break them and reacting then - and be as positive and empowering as you can. The better way to approach discipline is in a loving, proactive way. But why take the risk, when there are better ways to discipline? A better approach to discipline That doesn't mean that every child who gets spanked or yelled at has problems for the rest of their lives, as many a well-adjusted, happy adult who was spanked or yelled at as a child will attest. Think about it: how does it feel for a child when the person they love and need most in the world hits them or says bad things to and about them? Also, as with spanking, it hurts the relationship with the child. But when it's consistently used as discipline, it leads to mental health and behavioral problems for children. The same goes for harsh verbal discipline. Although some of this is confounded by the fact that parents with mental health problems are more likely to spank, and having a parent with mental health problems puts kids at risk for all sorts of problems, studies show that corporal punishment like spanking is an independent risk factor for problems down the road. The problem with aversive disciplineĬhildren who are spanked have a higher risk of aggressive behavior (which makes some sense, as spanking teaches children that in some circumstances hitting is okay), mental health problems, intimate partner violence, and substance abuse. Not only do studies show that they don't work that well, they can have long-term negative effects. And it is incredibly hard work, especially because when children act badly, it can get on a parent's last nerve and trigger an angry response, like yelling or spanking.Īccording to a policy statement ( Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children) recently released by the American Academy of Pediatrics, "aversive" discipline techniques like yelling and spanking are a really bad idea. Parents need to teach their children good behavior it doesn't just happen. The word "discipline" literally has its roots in the Latin word disciplinare, to teach or train. It's about raising them to be safe, kind, respectful, and productive human beings. It may be the toughest part of parenting: learning how to discipline children.Īs all parents know, or figure out, raising children isn't just about feeding, changing diapers, sleepless nights, hemorrhaging bank accounts, or general chaos.
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